Here's some one-liners....

A backwards poet writes inverse.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

The man who fell in the upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

My calendar's days are numbered.

A midget fortuneteller has escaped from prison. In other words, we have a small medium at large.

My aunt was engaged to a man with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

My professor has a photographic memory that was never developed.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
-Tucker Max