Location: Netherworld Jason's eyes opened, and he sat up and coughed. "Ow. Note to self: do not blow self up again. It kinda hurts." He looked around. "Huh. So this is heaven. Or hell." He was standing on a flat plain of baked earth that stretched off into infinity in all directions. The sky overhead was a seething cauldron of lightning and clouds. "No girls," he said definitively, turning in circles a few times. "And no Twinkies. This is definitely not heaven. On the other hand," he mused, checking his pockets, "there's no Johnny Cash music playing, so it's not hell. What the-" He withdrew an object. "Where'd a cell phone come from? I didn't have a cell phone." As if in response, the phone rang. Staring at it, he finally flipped it open. "Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running?" asked a deep, raspy voice on the other end. "I take it back. This is hell." He answered, "Who are you, and what have you done with Johnny Cash?" A pause. "Wow. That was a really good non sequitur. You passed." "Passed what?" "The test." The voice coughed. "Your job on Earth isn't done. So I'm sending you back in a new form. Do it right this time." "Wait, what job?" Jason frowned. "And who is this?" "You'll figure out what the job is. And this is God, who'd you think it was?" "Um-" "You know what? Don't answer that. Now begone, before I smite you." Click. Jason was left looking oddly at the silent phone, which quickly changed into a sparrow that flew off. After giving the bird an equally odd look, Jason looked to his left to see his favorite bag sitting next to a door that didn't use to be there. "I get to go back. Schweet." Picking up the bag, which seemed to weigh an awful lot, he opened the door and stepped through. Both he and the door vanished in a flash of light. The wind rushed across the now empty plain. Quietly, it began to rain lemonade.
_________________ The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
-Tucker Max
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